The Lost Prince's Journey
by chocohos
Summary: The most forgotten character in the show: the jogging guy that runs past Prompto during his arc exactly twenty minutes and six seconds in. He's considered a side character - hell, not even a side character, a background character! But there's much more to him than just that. What if he had his own story? ON HIATUS.
1. Introduction

**Okay, I'm actually doing this. Hello! As you might have already known, I am the author of this fic. Before reading, please take note that** ** _I HAVE NOT PLAYED ANY OF THE FINAL FANTASY GAMES_** **and that this story** ** _IS COMPLETELY COMICAL AND SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY_** _._ **I'm not joking, I've never played any of the games. The most extensive knowledge that I have is watching the entirety of the FFXV anime. So please, don't take any of this seriously. It's just for shits and giggles, and a friend of mine who introduced me to the anime thought it would be good for me to share it with the fandom. So, here I am.**

 **Now that that's cleared up, some of you might be confused, who's this story about? Well, I'm here to tell you that it's about the character you least expected that's not even from the game; motivational jogging guy in green, my favorite character! He makes his first appearance in the anime twenty minutes and six seconds in (20:06), which can be seen on youtube at** _/watch?v=s3m5FMhoT0E &t=1310s_.

 **That's all that I really have to say. I hope you enjoy reading! Oh, and, please don't crucify me, fandom.**


	2. The Puppet Is Not A Drug Dealer

**PRESENT DAY**

Currens Viridi Guido. Currens Viridi Guido. Currens Viridi Guido. That was his name. That was his name. He was seventeen. He lived with his adoptive moms Dives Negotium Domina and Tropaeis Uxorem Domina. He worked parttime at the gym as a fitness trainer. Currens Viridi Guido was sure that he knew exactly who he was.

But little did he know, he was wrong. He was so, so wrong.

His mothers found him on their doorstep at only a few weeks old, there was no note attached to the box. There was no explanation, no letter, not even his name. Regardless, they gladly welcomed him into their home. They knew nothing about him, but they didn't care. They had hoped and dreamed and prayed for their own child for so long, and it seemed that they had gotten exactly what they wanted. They told this same story to Currens all the time, getting more and more dramatic with each retelling.

And now, as Currens stood in their broken apartment, his mothers nowhere to be seen, and MTs surrounding him on all sides, he couldn't help but remember the story that he had been told so many times. Currens wished so desperately that he hadn't been so curious. He wished that he could have just been happy with his life. He wished that he had never found out who he really was. But it was far too late. This was the end for him, and he knew it. He was going to get killed by the Empire in his own home, with no way of contacting his family and no way of knowing if his mothers were even still alive.

 **TWO HOURS EARLIER**

It was around noon and Currens was stretching in the park, getting ready for his jog. It was raining, but his token green outfit seemed to deflect the rain completely. As he bent down to touch his toes, he remembered that little blonde kid a couple years ago who was doing the exact same thing he was doing now; jogging in the rain. Allowing a smile to spread across his face, Currens wondered what might have become of the boy now, and he hoped that he was doing alright. After finishing his stretches, Currens started jogging, going his usual route through the city. No matter how many times he does it, Currens never got tired of taking in the city around him during each jog. It kept him occupied and stopped him from thinking about how curious he was of his birth family and who he really was.

As he was running through the city, Currens allowed his eyes to drift over to an older building on the left. It looked older than the buildings surrounding it, but the large painted letters over the window still stood bright as ever: "Fortunes! Visions! Palm Readings! And More!". Feeling around in his pocket, Currens felt a few Gil, and after a moment of hesitation, jogged into the store. It couldn't hurt to figure out his past, could it?

Entering the store, Currens followed a totally not shady path into a totally not shady dark room where a totally not shady old table sat in the middle with two totally not shady chairs tucked into it. Looking around the room, Currens made the totally smart decision to yell in a completely deserted shop in a completely dark room with a door that suddenly slammed shut in a totally not shady way. "Hello? Is anyone here?"

After a few moments of silence, a voice bellowed back from somewhere in the room. "Ah, a customer. Please, take a seat, take a seat." Deciding that this voice was completely trustworthy and not at all shady, Currens moved towards one of the seats before being interrupted by the same voice. "Not that one! The other one!" Currens was still completely nonchalant about the entire situation. Listening to the voice, he moved towards the other chair, taking a seat as the voice instructed. As soon as he was seated, a figure popped out from under the table, completely covered in a dark cloak. The figure moved toward the chair and, after a few moments of struggling to get its short, green, fabricy legs up, took a seat in the chair. "Now, boy, tell me what you wish to know," the figure bellowed, its voice sounding strangely like Jim Henson's.

Currens started feeling nervous and unsure about this whole thing, which was completely absurd, because why would someone be uneased by a completely not shady store with a completely not shady figure as its owner that's in a completely not shady part of town? Gulping, he tentatively answered the figure. "I would like to know about my backstory and who I am."

"Hmm...I see, I see...," the figure crooned, leveling its head to Currens. The figure let down its hood, revealing a disgusting lime green face, eyes set far apart at the very top of its head, lines through its pupils, a grotesquely wide and elongated mouth, and a lack of ears and a nose. It was horrendous.

"K-Kermit?!"

Currens looked at the figure, completely shocked. Kermit, however, seemed to be quaking with rage. " **Y** **ou FO** **OL. Do I LOOK like Kermit to you?! You DISGUST me. You absolutely DISGUST ME. I am NOT Kermit. I am Dark Kermit, and I expect to be treated with respect, as someone of my rank and nobility should be! I'll let it go this once, but repeat this disgusting slander again, and you WILL be hearing from my legal representatives** ," _Dark_ Kermit practically screamed. Currens hastily nodded, adding "Okay, _Dark_ Kermit, it won't happen again. Please, chill."

Recomposing hims- _itself,_ Dark Kermit continued. "Now, as I was saying, you wanted me to tell you your past?" The puppet let out a horrible, soul-rupturing laugh. "That, I can do. _For a price_." Currens moved his hand towards his pocket, taking out the few Gil that he had. "Is...Is this enough?" he asked, hoping that it would be. After looking at the coins for a moment, Dark Kermit nodded, gesturing with its eyes to put the money into the garbage can on the right. Once Currens deposited the payment and sat back down, the puppet began to shake horribly, as if it was being exorcised. Its eyes rolled back into its head, mount unhinged and horrible satanic warbling sounds coming from the puppet's mouth. The entire room turned even darker and looked almost as if it was bathed in purple light, the shrieks of innocent souls damned for eternity being heard from every corner. After what seemed like an eternity, but was really only about twenty seconds, the shaking and screaming stopped, leaving Currens and Dark Kermit in the room just as it was before, normal as ever.

Currens sat in his chair, his spirit ripped out of his body and the light in his eyes long gone. "...What the hell are you?" The poor boy was positively traumatized. He was starting to think that maybe this entire thing was more trouble than what it was worth. That was until he heard the puppet's answer. "My God...," its horrible voice said. "You're...You're...You're a prince." Currens was confused by what exactly the puppet meant. "I'm a- what?"

Dark Kermit hurriedly stood up, heading to the door as fast as its thing legs could get it. "You have to leave now. Go, hurry up." Currens tried to interject the puppet, but before he could, it was already pushing him out the door of the room. "Get out of my shop, and never come back! You'll be endangering us all!" Before he knew it, Currens was out on the street, just as confused as ever, maybe even more so. He was a prince? What did Dark Kermit mean by that? Why did he want him out of his shop so fast? And how could he possibly endanger them? Sighing, he started to jog back home, knowing he would get no answers. The jog seemed to take a much shorter time than it normally did, but Currens paid no attention to that, stepping into the apartment complex and opening the lock on his door. However, when he got into the apartment, Currens was greeted with a sight that he had hoped he would never have to see.

 **PRESENT DAY**

Maybe, Currens thought, this was all for the best. He would never have to know if his mothers were dead. He would never have to know how many more died because of him. And he didn't want to know. Currens was willing to accept that the Empire had won. Shutting his eyes tight, he waited for the moment of excruciating pain that would fade into complete darkness to come.


	3. Elvis Presley Hates Me

**Guess which bitch isn't dead yet? Not this one lmao. But I finally updated this again for God knows why. Thank you to all 20 people who decided to read this atrocity, and especially thank you to the one person who reviewed it. You're kind of the only reason I got motivated to update this again, so thanks. And lastly, thanks to Vene, who originally made me write this and provided me with vital information since I've never played or seen any playthroughs of the game. I'll shut up now.**

* * *

Everything went quiet.

One moment, Currens was trapped between the wall and the MTs surrounding him, weapons aimed at his person. The next, the apartment was quiet and there was no sign that the MT's had ever even been there. Looking around in confusion, Currens scanned the apartment until his eyes landed on a familiar green sight.

"Dark Kermit?"

The puppet nodded from its spot on Currens' couch, a look of nonchalantness on its face, although that might have been because its face was permanently stuck in that position and was incapable of actual facial movement due to both the lack of muscles and the rods and wires that made up the puppet's internals. "I knew something would happen. Did you really think I would just leave you to die at the hands of those things? I might be _Dark_ Kermit, but that doesn't mean I don't have any feelings," the puppet said, moving towards Currens and extending a hand. Looking at it for a moment, a smile broke across Currens' face. Taking the hand, which had no way of actually supporting him and helping him up due to it being made completely out of felt and lacking any sort of structure, Currens looked around at the room once more before saying, "Ready to get out of this place?"

Currens was met with the horrific, gruesome sight of the puppet's mouth stretching at its corners, widening across the face, before tearing through the fabric in what was supposed to be a smile. "Let's go. But do we even know where we're going?" Dark Kermit asked. Currens scratched his chin thoughtfully before it came to him. "Well, I've got a brother, don't I? And that brother probably needs help saving the world, doesn't he? It only seems rational that I try and find him." Dark Kermit nodded along to each word, before finally saying "That makes sense. Now seriously, let's get out of here."

Not spending a second longer in there, the pair left the apartment, and then the building. As they were walking towards the parking lot, two things hit Currens. First, how in the hell did Dark Kermit get rid of all those MTs? Glancing over at the puppet, whose face was now unreadable, Currens decided that that was probably a question for another time. He was going to be spending a while with Dark Kermit, so he had plenty of chances to ask him later on. Second, where were they going to get any transportation? Currens didn't have a car and public transportation couldn't be used in this case, so they didn't really have any way to get to his brother.

Currens' question must have been evident on his face, as Dark Kermit's mouth curled horribly upwards, the seams of the cloth nearly ripping at the tension in what was supposed to be a smirk. "Oh, don't worry, I've got transportation taken care of. How else do you think I got here?" Dark Kermit reached into the pocket - where was that? - of its cloak, producing a car key from out of it. Currens' face lit up at the sight of it. Pressing the first button on the car key, a beep - that sounded strangely like the tune of the critically acclaimed, award-winning song _Man Or Muppet_ from the also critically acclaimed and award-winning movie _The Muppets_ \- sounded from one corner of the parking lot, alerting them to where the car was parked.

Walking towards the sound, Dark Kermit pressed the button again, resulting in another beep that eventually led them to the car in question. Currens was shocked; right there, in front of his very own two eyes, was a vintage, first generation, 1955 Ford Thunderbird. He made his way to the driver's side, palm on the handle, about to open the door until he was interrupted by the slap of a puppet hand. Dark Kermit glared at him darkly, speaking in a tone so low that Elvis Presley could be felt rolling in his grave. "I stole the car, I drive it." Currens didn't say anything at the mention of Dark Kermit stealing the car, only dropping his hand immediately and walking over to the passenger's side instead.

Once the two were safely in the car that was acquired through entirely illegal means, Dark Kermit started the engine and shifted into drive, slamming his foot onto the gas. Logically, it didn't work, as Dark Kermit was a puppet with a foot made out of felt that weighed very little. Cursing its creator for giving it such weak feet, Dark Kermit took a heavy rock out of its cloak pocket - Currens didn't bother asking why Dark Kermit had it in there in the first place - and dropped it on the gas pedal, which sent the car speeding out of the parking lot. The arrangement seemed to work out well enough, with the rock keeping the car moving and Dark Kermit keeping the car in the right direction. Except, of course, for the fact that they were driving at least a dozen miles about the legal speed limit and they had no way of stopping, as the rock couldn't necessarily move to the brake pedal on its own.

This seemed to work for about three and a half hours until the car ran out of gas. Surprisingly, Dark Kermit and Currens had managed to not crash. Unsurprisingly, the car didn't have a full tank when Dark Kermit first stole it and now would not turn on anymore.

Currens blinked his eyes blearily, having just woken up from a nap. Sitting up, Currens surveyed the area around them. It was nighttime at this point and they seemed to be on the road in the middle of a very large desert. It took him a few moments, but when his brain finally woke up fully, it hit Currens that they were in Leide, which meant that they were fairly far away from Insomnia. Currens turned back to Dark Kermit, asking "Why'd we stop?" The frog, who now had its head laid down on the steering wheel, didn't bother looking up at him when he answered. "The car ran out of gas. We're stuck here for now." Currens groaned at the puppet's words, annoyed that they would now have to manually push the car. It could be worse; they could be somewhere else other than Leide, where there aren't gas stations and car garages every other mile.

After spending _ years of his life living within the safe walls of Insomnia, it didn't occur to Currens that there might have been dangers in Leide. It didn't occur to him that being on a deserted road in the middle of a desert at night time might have been dangerous. It didn't occur to him that maybe they should try and keep going instead of stopping. No, none of this occurred to him at all, not until the sound of a snake slithering came closer and closer. And none of it occurred to him at all until it was too late and there, on the other side of the road, in all her amazingly gorgeous and wonderfully strong and beautiful glory, was Marilith.

* * *

 **In before everyone starts going "BUT MARILITH ISN'T EVEN IN LEIDE" even though it probably won't happen because only 20 people have read this. Also, daemon snake lady is my wife and I love her and this is my story so you can't tell me what to do. And if you've made it this far, thank you.**


	4. update

**Hello everyone! I haven't put out an update for months, and I deeply apologize for that. However, instead of making extra chapters as compensation like a good writer would, I regret to inform you all that this story will be going on hiatus. I have sincerely underestimated the challenges of writing a multi-chapter work, especially with no planning or outlining beforehand, and have found that I do not yet have the skills to write one. The length of the hiatus is undetermined at the moment, and I don't know if this story ever** ** _will_** **go off of hiatus. For now, I am planning on sticking to short works, which I will hopefully be posting on here.**

 **Thank you to everyone who read this story, and I sincerely apologize for not continuing it.**


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